Archive | May, 2012

I occasionally ask myself or the men I sponsor these Step Six defects of character questions:

31 May

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(1) What is the defect protecting? The illusion of control?

(2) What will happen if I continue unchecked? Gradual decline, narrowing of my life and experience, isolation, limitation, strife, aridity, uselessness, death of soul and getting trapped in my own mind?

(3) What would my life look like without the defects? Growth, limitless expansion, a host of friends, fellowship and spiritual freedom?

Utter Simplicity: Bill was once asked if he could describe the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous in simple terms. He replied, “I certainly can. It is a complete mystery shrouded in utter simplicity”.

31 May

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Let’s take a look at this wonderful Program as see if it is that simple.

Requirement for membership – a desire to stop drinking for good and all.

Why? – Because every time I start drinking, I drink too much but never get enough. So I make up my mind that I will never take another drink but for reasons I don’t understand, I can’t manage that decision. I am powerless over my body and powerless over my mind where it comes to alcohol.

I was told that Alcoholics Anonymous might be able to help me. By listening to the story of a recovered alcoholic, I got some hope that maybe this outfit really had a solution for my drinking problem. I was told if I had the willingness to do what other recovered alcoholics had done, I would be given the Power I needed to overcome my powerlessness over alcohol.

I made a decision to do what they said they had done. I was told that precise directions for doing what they did was in a book titled, “Alcoholics Anonymous.” I need only follow those clear-cut directions and I would never have to take another drink containing alcohol and further, I would have a way of living that would be better than anything I had ever known.

I started carrying out that decision by making a list of all the people, institutions and principles I resented. Then I made a list of those I feared followed by a list of those who had been harmed by my sexual misconduct.

I sat with another human being and went over the lists I had made. In doing so, I saw how selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, frightened and inconsiderate I had been to almost everyone I had ever known. It became evident that my selfishness had been the trigger for my insane act of starting to drink even though I had sworn I would never do it again.

Recognizing that the way I had been thinking which determined the way I felt which caused me to pick up that first drink, I reaffirmed my decision to continue the process they outlined for me.

Having become aware that I now felt the presence of a new inner Power, I appealed to that Power to begin changing the way I thought and the way I felt.

As I made those lists of people who I thought had done me wrong, I realized it was me who had wronged them so I made a list of them all and started becoming willing to make amends and restitution to each and every one of them.

With my Mentor’s guidance, I began the process of making amends and restitution to those I had harmed by my thoughts and/or actions. I became aware that I had undergone a revolutionary change in the way I thought and the way I felt. It was utterly awesome and wonderful. And as I began the process of forgiving those who I thought were the cause of all my problems, I was told to begin my spiritual growth. This unreal transformation within me happened as the result of following the clear-cut directions in just 20 pages of that A.A. Text Book. I had recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.
Since what I had done up to this point had produced the unbelievable results I had experienced, I was to continue doing exactly the same thing moment by moment, day by day. In doing so, I was promised I would grow in understanding and effectiveness in my new found spiritual way of life and I should continue to make amends wherever possible. I was also warned that if I failed to continue to do these things, I would return to the person I used to be and would therefore drink again and very likely die drunk.

Having come to A.A. looking for a way to avoid death or wet brain insanity, I learned that lack of power was my dilemma and I had no knowledge of what to do about it. But what I had done up to this point had given me a Higher Power that would solve all my problems. I had to learn how to improve my conscience contact with this Power and effectively communicate with Him. To accomplish this, I was given a number of prayers and specific directions on what to do at night, in the morning and all day long. By praying these prayers at appropriate times and practicing talking to and learning how to listen to Him, I have and am learning how to live a life of freedom. I am now free of alcohol, free of me and free of you. I am free and have a peaceful and purposeful life to live.

So now that I have recovered and have been given the Power to help others, my waking time is mostly directed toward learning how to be of maximum service to Him and the people He puts in my life. He gives me many opportunities to share my experience and knowledge of what a hopeless alcoholic can do to survive to those who are as willing as I was to learn how to live sober and experience a life that is beyond our wildest dreams. Or as Fred said:
“Quite as important was the discovery that spiritual principles would solve all my problems. I have since been brought into a way of living infinitely more satisfying and, I hope, more useful than the life I lived before. My old manner of life was by no means a bad one, but I would not exchange its best moments for the worst I have now. I would not go back to it even if I could.” Page 42 & 43 Alcoholics Anonymous

Simple, but not easy. A price has to be paid but the prize is far greater than the price!

I LOVE IT HERE IN AA, IT’S WHERE I BELONG – YOU ARE MY PEOPLE AND AA IS THE ONLY PLACE IN MY LIFE I EVER REALLY FELT 100% LOVED AND ACCEPTED JUST AS I AM! THANKS AA!

31 May

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“We are not Saints.” (BB pg 60)

As Billy Joel said, “I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, the sinners are much more fun.” With One hand in Gods’ and the other in a newcomers’, it’s impossible to pick up that first drink.

What a joy to watch the eyes of men and women open with wonder as they move from darkness into light, to see their lives quickly fill with new purpose and meaning, to see whole families reassembled, to see the alcoholic outcast received back into his community in full citizenship, and above all to watch these people awaken to the presence of a loving God in their lives — these things are the substance of what we receive as we carry the message to the next alcoholic. This privilege beats any drink or drug I sure as hell ever did!

69 ANNOYING QUESTIONS TO PONDER AT THE END OF THE DAY:

24 May

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Was I tolerant, paitient, cheerful, show pity?
Did I ask God to save me from being angry?
Did I ask God how I can be helpful?
Did I say Thy will be done?
Did I avoid retaliation or argument?
Did I destroy my chance of being useful?
Did I ask God to show me how to take a kindly and tolerant view?
Did I put entirely out of my mind the wrong of others?
Did I resolutely look for my own mistakes?
Have I honestly admitted MY OWN wrongs?
Am I entirely ready to set these matters straight?
Do I now see how fear has brought me misfortune?
Do I see how “I” set the ball in motion?
Do I now see how self-reliance (fear) has failed me?
Do I see how in this area I need a complete overhaul?
Where had I been jealous, suspicious &/or bitter?
What is my sane and sound ideal in this area?
Was this relation based on my selfisness or not?
Have I ask God to remove my despise and loathing?
Do I avoid hysterIcal thinking or advice?
Am I sorry for the things I have done?
Do I have an honest desire to let God take me to better things?
Is this a fact of my experience?
Did I pray for God to give me the right ideal, guidance and strength to do the right thing?
Have I began to comprehend the futility and fatality of my resentments?
Have I analyzed and seen the terrible destructiveness of “MY” resentments?
Have I begun to learn tolerance, patience and goodwill toward all even my enemies?
Have I listed EVERY person my conduct has hurt?
Am I now willing to straighten this out if I can?
Do I believe faith can do for mewhat I can’t do for myself?
Am I convinced that God can remove whatever my selfwill has blocked me off from Him?
Have I swallowed and digested big chunks of truth about my-”self”?
Am I getting a new attitude?
Do I have a new relationship with my creator?
Have I discovered the obstacles in my path?
Do I know what the trouble is?
Have I put my finger on the weak items of my personal inventory?
Are these about to be cast out?
Am I ready to take action that, when completed,admitted the EXACT natureof my defects?
Am I ready to take my 5th step?
Was solitrary self-appraisal insufficient?
Are you ready to go further?
Have I hung on to ANYTHING?
Have I lost my egotism and fear?
Have I humbled myself?
Have I learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty to tell someone else all my story?
Did I lead a double life?
Diud I have a stage character?
Did I enjoy a certain reputation that in my heart I know I don’t deserve?
Does this inconsistency make things worse?
Am I under constant fear and tension?
Am I willing to be entirely honest with a sympathetic somebody so I can live a long, happy life?
Have I thought well about whom to hear this vital step?
Was I hard on my self but considerate of others?
Will this person hold things in confidence?
Do they understand what we are driving at?
Am I using this as an excuse topostphone my 5th step?
Do I realize this step is a life or death errand?
Have I pocketed my pride and got right to it?
Have I illuminated every dark cranny of my past – witholding nothing?
Can I now look the world in the eye?
Do I now feel that I can be alone and at perfect peace and ease?
Have my fears fell from me?
Am I now beginning to feel the nearness of my creator?
Have my spiritual beliefs become my own spiritual experience?
Do I feel as if the drink problem has disappeared?
Do I feel as if I am walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe?
Am I now on a Broad Highway?

SAFE, SANE & SOBER… well two out of three! lol

24 May

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“For by this time sanity will have returned.” BB pg 84

Newly in sobriety, at what Step did you first feel like you were perhaps sane?

STEP FOUR INSTRUCTIONS “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves”

24 May

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A) Stop Set Aside Prayer. Use Third Step Prayer morning and night. Ask for help with inventory and truth in the morning, night and before writing with a Prayer like this one taken from the Big Book: (ref.
p.64-top-l4)

“God please help me face and be rid of the things in myself which have been blocking me from You, other people and myself”

B) Column One: Make a list.
(pg.64-3-l7 “We listed people, institutions and principles with whom we were angry”). Pray and write down every name that comes to you that needs to be on the list. Don’t worry about why you were angry till the next column. Don’t go on till the list is finished. You will know when the list is done.

C) Column Two: Make another list like the example below.

Next to each name we list every resentment we have towards each name in the first list (ref. p.64-3-l9 “We asked ourselves why we were angry”). Number each name and letter for resentment. Be as specific and brief as possible. It’s only necessary to write enough so you know why you were angry. In this list you can consider if some resentments should be consolidated. Also consider if some aren’t really resentments, mark them to come back to later.

EXAMPLE: (ref. p.65 Big Book example)

Column 1 Column 2
1) Mr.Brown A) His attention to my wife.
B) Told my wife of my mistress.
C) Brown may get my job at the office.
2) Mrs. Jones A) She’s a nut—she snubbed me.
B) She committed my friend, her husband for drinking.
C) She’s a gossip.
3) My Employer A) Unreasonable—Unjust—Overbearing—
Threatens to fire me for drinking and
padding my expense account.

 

THIRD COLUMN

INSTRUCTIONS

1 ) Read Big Book from p.64-3-l9 to p.66-2 to “these things are poison.” then stop.

2 ) Writing Third Column: See inventory template on next page for a guide while writing.
a) Write a prayer at the top of the page like: “God please enable me
to see the truth”

b) Column One: Put the first number and name of your resentment on the page.
Column Two: Then the first letter and cause of the resentment.

c) Column Three:
• Consider each of the seven areas of self and write in sentence form how you were affected. Did it hurt, threaten or interfere with you.
(ref. p.65-3-l3 “we considered it carefully”). Don’t write any “I think…” or “I feel…” here in the Third Column. (ref. p.62-1 We see our selfish, self -centered false notions here in the 3rd Column) • Bracket your (fears) next to every third column sentence as you write.
Allow the Third Column to reveal your fears to you (ref. p.67-3 “notice the word fear’ is bracketed alongside the difficulties.” also referenced in example on p.65).

Important: Some people have found it easier and more focused to write the Third Columns only at first looking at the Self Esteem and Pride for all of the resentments. Then going back and writing all of the Ambition and Security. Then coming back and finishing the Personal Relations, Sex Relations and Pocket Book. It has proven to help more people finish faster with a better understanding of the inventory process. While writing about your self esteem: If you truly had low self-esteem when the person in Column One did Column Two you would not have been resentful at them, you would have believed you got what you deserved. You will experience your difficulties easier in this area writing from a point of high self-esteem. It will take writing and seeing the fears bracketed along side a few of these to understand this. Using Bill’s references in Step Three as to how I’m like an actor trying to run the show. Consider here in the Third Column how I believed the situation should have gone and how I’m in the world assigning roles:

•Self-esteem is my stage character. The role that I’ve assigned myself. – I am the best husband my wife could have. Fear of being (not good enough)

•Pride is how the rest of the players are supposed to see to me. No one should challenge my wife’s love for me. Fear of being (challenged)

•Ambition is what I want out of this scene. I want others to respect my relationship with my wife. Fear of being (disrespected)

•Security is what I need out of this scene to be okay. I need others to acknowledge who I am to be okay. Fear of being (not acknowledged)

•Personal Relations is my deep seated idea of what this type of relationship should look like.
•Sex Relations is my deep seated ideas of how a real man and/or real woman would be in this situation. Real friends never make their friends unimportant. Fear of being (unimportant)

•Pocket Book relates to my finances. (I only right on pocketbook if it affects my finances or job in some way.)

Example of Columns 1,2 & 3
“God please help me see the truth”
1) Mr. Brown A) His attention to my wife.
Self esteem: – I am the best husband my wife could have. Fear of being (not good enough)
Pride: – No one should challenge my wife’s love for me. Fear of being
(challenged)
Ambition: – I want others to respect my relationship with my wife.
Fear of being (disrespected)
Security: – I need others to acknowledge who I am to be okay. Fear of being (not acknowledged) Personal Relations: – Real friends never make their friends unimportant. Fear of being (unimportant) Sex relations: – A real men stands up for himself. Fear of
(confrontation) A real man commands the respect of others. Fear of being (not respected)
Pocketbook: (I only right on pocketbook if it affects my finances or job in some way.)

Note: This is difficult to understand at first, do a dozen or so and you’ll get the hang of it.
The template on the next page will help.

RESENTMENT INVENTORY

“God please help me see the truth about my resentments”

I’m resentful at: (ref. p.65 example):

The Cause: (ref. p.65 example:

Affects my: Keep Columns 1 & 2 in mind while writing the 3rd Column considerations (ref. p.65-3-L3 “we considered it carefully”). Look at the 3rd Column and consider the opposite of each sentence to let the inventory reveal your fears behind each of the seven areas of self.
(ref. p.65 example and p.67-3 “Notice the word “fear” is bracketed alongside the difficulties”).

SELF ESTEEM: How I see or feel about myself. “The role I’ve assigned myself” Fear of being…
Start sentences with—”I am… Example: I am the best husband she could have. ( not good enough )

PRIDE: How I think others see me or feel about me. “The role I’ve assigned others”
Start sentences with— “Others should…” or “No one should…” or “Others can…”

AMBITION: What I wanted to happen here. Start sentences with— “I want…”

SECURITY: What I need here to be okay. Start sentences with— “I need…to be okay”

PERSONAL RELATIONS: My deep seated beliefs of how this relationship is supposed to look.
(“Wives trust their husbands” “Mothers respect their sons choices”
“Real friends always agree with me”)

SEX RELATIONS: My deep-seated beliefs of how real men and/or real women are supposed to be.
Start sentence with—“A real man…”and/or “A real woman…”

POCKET BOOK: Affects my finances.
(Start with—”No one (can, should, shouldn’t)…” or Others (can, should, shouldn’t)…”)

FOURTH COLUMN

INSTRUCTIONS

1) Read the Big Book from p.66-3 “We turned” to p.67-3 “these matters straight.”See Inventory guide sheet on the next page to use as a guide while writing.

2) Realization: Skip this instruction if Column One is not a person.
Before each Fourth Column, consider in paragraph form “How have I done the things I’ve resented in Column Two to the person I’ve listed in Column One and/or others?” (ref. p.66-4 “This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick… like ourselves”).

After considering the Realization say the Fourth Step Prayer (ref. p.67-top-L6).
“This is a sick person like myself. how can I be helpful tothem? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done.”

3) Fourth Column Writing: (ref. p.67-2)
When there’s a lot of resentments it works well to section off the writing. First write on Self-Seeking and Selfish for all the resentments. Then go back and write all the Dishonest and Afraid.
•Disregard the other person involved entirely,
this is your inventory not theirs.
•Where was I to blame, before? during? after? What did I do?
•Look at the things you do to hold on to the resentment.
•Look at things you do to protect yourself and how you look.
I shun, I gossip, I yell.
•Stay focused on what you’ve seen so far in Column One thru the Realization as you write.

Consider the following questions:

Where had I been…

SELF-SEEKING: Look around the whole resentment, what did I do? where was I to blame? My selfish actions were… ?

SELFISH: What was my selfish thinking while I was doing the above self-seeking actions? My selfish attitudes were… ?

DISHONEST: What were the lies I was telling myself that resulted in my selfish thinking above? I was in the delusion that… ?

AFRAID: What are the fears that drive the delusions above? I was afraid… ? ~The fears that drive the delusions, that result in the attitude that are behind the actions. (ref. p.62-1 “driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking and self pity [my
attitude])

• Consider the opposite of each fear, if it applies add it to the fear list.

Example: being alone / being committed? looking bad / looking too good? failing / succeeding?”(ref. p.68-1-L1 “We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them.”)

4) Harms: Do I see harm that I caused. Look around the resentment? ie:
parents, friends, employers.

“God please help me see the truth.”

The Realization: “How have I done the things I’ve resented in Column 2 to the person I’ve listed in Column 1 and/or others?” (ref. p.66-3 “This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick…like ourselves”). Skip this if Column One is not a person.”God, this is a sick person like myself. How can I be helpful to them? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done.”
69 QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER:
Was I tolerant, paitient, cheerful, show pity?
Did I ask God to save me from being angry?
Did I ask God how I can be helpful?
Did I say Thy will be done?
Did I avoid retaliation or argument?
Did I destroy my chance of being useful?
Did I ask God to show me how to take a kindly and tolerant view?
Did I put entirely out of my mind the wrong of others?
Did I resolutely look for my own mistakes?
Have I honestly admitted MY OWN wrongs?
Am I entirely ready to set these matters straight?
Do I now see how fear has brought me misfortune?
Do I see how “I” set the ball in motion?
Do I now see how self-reliance (fear) has failed me?
Do I see how in this area I need a complete overhaul?
Where had I been jealous, suspicious &/or bitter?
What is my sane and sound ideal in this area?
Was this relation based on my selfisness or not?
Have I ask God to remove my despise and loathing?
Do I avoid hysterIcal thinking or advice?
Am I sorry for the things I have done?
Do I have an honest desire to let God take me to better things?
Is this a fact of my experience?
Did I pray for God to give me the right ideal, guidance and strength to do the right thing?
Have I began to comprehend the futility and fatality of my resentments?
Have I analyzed and seen the terrible destructiveness of “MY” resentments?
Have I begun to learn tolerance, patience and goodwill toward all even my enemies?
Have I listed EVERY person my conduct has hurt?
Am I now willing to straighten this out if I can?
Do I believe faith can do for mewhat I can’t do for myself?
Am I convinced that God can remove whatever my selfwill has blocked me off from Him?
Have I swallowed and digested big chunks of truth about my-“self”?
Am I getting a new attitude?
Do I have a new relationship with my creator?
Have I discovered the obstacles in my path?
Do I know what the trouble is?
Have I put my finger on the weak items of my personal inventory?
Are these about to be cast out?
Am I ready to take action that, when completed,admitted the EXACT natureof my defects?
Am I ready to take my 5th step?
Was solitrary self-appraisal insufficient?
Are you ready to go further?
Have I hung on to ANYTHING?
Have I lost my egotism and fear?
Have I humbled myself?
Have I learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty to tell someone else all my story?
Did I lead a double life?
Diud I have a stage character?
Did I enjoy a certain reputation that in my heart I know I don’t deserve?
Does this inconsistency make things worse?
Am I under constant fear and tension?
Am I willing to be entirely honest with a sympathetic somebody so I can live a long, happy life?
Have I thought well about whom to hear this vital step?
Was I hard on my self but considerate of others?
Will this person hold things in confidence?
Do they understand what we are driving at?
Am I using this as an excuse topostphone my 5th step?
Do I realize this step is a life or death errand?
Have I pocketed my pride and got right to it?
Have I illuminated every dark cranny of my past – witholding nothing?
Can I now look the world in the eye?
Do I now feel that I can be alone and at perfect peace and ease?
Have my fears fell from me?
Am I now beginning to feel the nearness of my creator?
Have my spiritual beliefs become my own spiritual experience?
Do I feel as if the drink problem has disappeared?
Do I feel as if I am walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe?
Am I now on a Broad Highway?

 

FOURTH COLUMN: Disregard the other person involved entirely, this is your inventory not theirs. Where was I to blame, before? during?
after? What did I do? (ref. p.67-2). • Look at the things you do to hold on to the resentment. • Look at things you do to protect yourself and how you look, I shun, I gossip, I yell. • Stay focused on what you’ve seen so far in Column One thru the Realization as you write.

“Where had I been…”
SELF-SEEKING: Look around the whole resentment, what did I do? where was I to blame?
My selfish actions or activities were… ?

SELFISH: What was my selfish thinking while I was doing the above actions?

My selfish attitudes were… ?

DISHONEST: What were the lies I was telling myself that resulted in my selfish thinking above?

I was in the delusion that… ?

AFRAID: What are the fears that drive the delusions above?

I was afraid… ?

The above fears drive the delusions, that result in the attitude that are behind the actions. (ref. p.62-1 “driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking and self pity [my attitude]…) Consider if there are any other fears that should be on the fear list.
Consider the opposite of each fear, if it applies add it to the list.
Example: being alone/being committed? failing/succeeding? (ref.
p.68-1-L1 “We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them.”)

HARM: Do I see any harm I caused. Look around the resentment as well?
ie: parents, friends, employers.

FEAR INVENTORY

INSTRUCTIONS

1) Read the Big Book from p.67-3 “Notice the word fear” to p.68-3 “outgrow fear”

2) List all Fears: Fold a sheet of paper into four columns or use the template on the next page Take all of your fears you wrote in your Resentment Inventory and make one single list in the first column (a).
List each different fear only once in the first column. (ref.
p.68-1-L1 “We put them on paper”).

3) Why do I have this fear?: Consider the fear underlying each fear and write it in the next column (b). (ref. p.68-1-L3 “We asked ourselves why we had them.”) Example of a trail of underlying fears from chart below:

• (a) I fear being not good enough, if I’m not good enough, I fear I’ll be unwanted. ➡Why do I have this Fear?

• (b) I fear being unwanted, if I’m unwanted, I’ll fear being alone.
➡Why do I have this Fear?

• (c) I fear being alone because I fear the emotional pain of being alone. ➡Why do I have this Fear?

• (d) I fear sitting in emotional pain , if I sit in pain long enough, I fear I’ll drink again. ➡Why do I have this Fear?

• (e) I fear drinking, for me to drink again is to die. ➡Why do I have this Fear?

• (f) I fear dying because I fear the unknown, I don’t know what dying means. ➡Why do I have this Fear?

• (g) I fear the unknown because I fear there is no God. ➡Why do I have this Fear?

• (h) I fear there is no God so I repeatedly trust self-reliance even though I fear self-reliance fails me.being alone> emotional pain>
drinking> dying> the unknown> no God>self-relience fails me➡Why do I
have this Fear?

• Repeat the consideration of Why do I have this fear? with each fear listed in your first column.

• Do one column at a time. Do as many columns as it takes to get down to one fear.

• Each list should get smaller, 80 becomes 40, 40 becomes 15, 15 becomes 6, 6 becomes 1.

• Notice in the example chart below that the line ends once the fear is duplicated and crossed out.

Note: If your lists aren’t getting smaller each time it’s a good indicator you don’t understand.

4) Harms: Look at your Fears, write how your fears caused harm and to whom.

SEX INVENTORY

INSTRUCTIONS

1) Read big book pg.68-4 “Now about sex” to pg.70-2“would mean heartache.”

2) Pray, make a list, and go with what comes with relationships through your life.
Work on list till you know it’s done.

3) “What can we do about them?”
A) Take the first name from the list and write it on top of a page.
b) Write a brief history of the relationship and include:
• My motives for getting involved were…?
• My specific sex conduct was…?
• The major points that came up in the relationship are…?
• How did it end…? or how it is now…?
C) “We reviewed our own conduct”
Look at each relationship and answer these nine questions in paragraph form with detailed explanations: (ref. p.69-1)
1) Where had I been selfish?
2) Where had I been dishonest?
3) Where had I been inconsiderate?
4) Whom did I hurt? (Look around the relationship, IE: parents,
kids, brothers, sisters)
5) Did I arouse jealousy?
6) Did I arouse suspicion?
7) Did I arouse bitterness?
8) Where was I at fault?
9) What should I have done instead?

NOTE: The answer to question 9 is never “I shouldn’t have gotten involved in the first place.” Refer to what you should have done, or how you should have behaved in the relationship. Make sure you’re especially complete with Question #9 you will refer back to it later when writing your Sex Ideal.

SEX INVENTORY WORKSHEET

“God please help me see the Truth about my conduct in relationships”

Name: __________________________________
Relationship:_____________________________
Write a brief history of the relationship:
My motives for getting involved were…
My specific conduct in the relationship has been…
The major points that came up in the relationship are…
How it ended…? or how it is now…

“God please help me see the Truth about my conduct in relationships”

Look at each relationship and answer these nine questions (ref p.69-1)

1) Where had I been selfish?
2) Where had I been dishonest
3) Where had I been inconsiderate?
4) Whom did I hurt? (Look around the relationship)
5) Did I arouse jealousy?
6) Did I arouse suspicion?
7) Did I arouse bitterness?
8) Where was I at fault?
9) What should I have done instead? ( In the relationship. Don’t write “not gotten involved in the first place.” )Make sure you are especially explicit with Question #9 you will refer back to this for writing the Sex Ideal.
Harm: Write any specific harm that comes to you while writing:

God’s will IS ALWAYS the very best for us – God NEVER causes any bad!

24 May

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“We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free. We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us. But it is clear that we made our own misery. God didn’t do it. Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence.”~BB pg 133

I believe that God’s will is always perfection and all good for all His children (the BB says He is our Father we are his children); perfect health in mind and body (BB pg 64 when the spiritual malady is overcome we straighten out physically and mentally); abundance of every good thing including joy, peace, wisdom, and eternal life(see above pg 100 quote). He does not will suffering or imperfection in any form.(BB on pg 62 & 103 says our troubles are of our own making)

The belief that God wills both good and evil is false; the truth is that God is all good and only good can come to man from Him. If we experience error and in harmony, we bring them upon ourselves by our own failure to harmonize our thoughts, words and deeds. In our 11th Step we seek to act with the God’s will for us and through the application of the 12 steps receive the power to carry that out.

Life is a continuous process of growth through change. In the heart of every person there is an awful homesickness for God, for wholeness, for relatedness, for unity. It comes from an intuitive awareness of the reality of his true being in love. life is not for existing or “making do.” Life is for loving and living abundantly, for you are, innately, a loveful person.

You do not need to have anything to be happy about! When you are conscious that you are in love with life, with all God’s creation, and that the whole universe is in love with you, you have everything going for you. You have the sense that you are “destiny’s darling,” that there are green lights wherever you look. This consciousness wells up from within you and you clap your hands with joy from the overflow. It isn’t a case of what you have to be happy about. It is more a matter of what you are happy from. Your happiness is the extension of an unfolding process out of the depths within. In a way you are happy because you are happy. The happiness is its own reason and its own cause.

If you want light in the room, you must have the switch on. And it does you no good to sit and complain that someone else turned it off. Like little children squabbling over “who did it,” we sit and suffer in the darkness. If there is unforgiveness, if there is enmity, if there is resistance in human relations, turn the light on. Don’t worry about “who did it” or why. You need light; so love, forgive, bless, and release.

God is love. We are created in His image so we are love too. Nothing can change this fact – Love is all we ever can be, creative expressions of the Infinite love! The idea of the plant was invisible in the seed before it was ever planted in the ground and that particular seed will produce only the particular plant which is invisible in the seed. A beautiful lily will not grow from a radish seed.

‎”You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”

‎”This is a song I’ve been singing for a long time. It’s like an old friend. But, you know, I think it, it’s only recently that I discovered what it’s really about.”

You’ve got to give a little, take a little, and let your poor heart break a little.
That’s the story of, that’s the glory of love.

You’ve got to laugh a little, cry a little, until the clouds roll by a little.
That’s the story of, that’s the glory of love.

As long as there’s the two of us,
we’ve got the world and all it’s charms.
And when the world is through with us,
we’ve got each other’s arms.

You’ve got to win a little, lose a little, yes, and always have the blues a little.
That’s the story of, that’s the glory of love.
That’s the story of, that’s the glory of love.
Bette Midler – The Glory of Love Lyrics